←

rambles and half-essays

Tag: children’s books

  • long time no see

    KM Brunner

    I’m not sure why but I’m trying to work and write this post at the same time. I’ve been doing a lot of writing and also a lot of working. That’s not necessarily important for this post but I figured I’d say it so I’d feel compelled to write tonight. I have a schedule and I’m sticking to it as well as I can. Sometimes it’s difficult but I’m trying to push through that.

    I said in my last post that I find it hard to relate to people sometimes. I just cut off a romance I’d been in – she’s amazing, which sucks for me – because I couldn’t fully relate to her. She’s very cool but I’m a little intense. I know that about myself.

    Fortunately, she’s not as intense as me. Romantically, I need someone as specific as I am, but I’m happy for her, because she’s probably less stressed out. I’d rather her enjoy herself and never see me again than try to get through to me and watch me drown in self-pity (I’m working on it, ok).

    This post is more personal than I intended it to be.

    Anyway, work is difficult enough that I want to lay facedown on the floor and cry about it. I vacillate wildly from productive to miserable and am finding it difficult to steady myself. Honestly…I think I’m just so, so tired. I’ve been thinking of applying to different jobs but even that feels like too much.

    Then again, I may just be hungry. Or sad that I had to let that woman go. Or maybe I miss my friends.

    Could be because I’m all angsty about things. We’ll never know.

    Time for some recommendations.

    Music: “Never Surrender” – Combichrist

    This is a dark industrial song. Like if NIN had a baby with a male Poppy. I really enjoy it but it’s not for everyone.

    I’m currently reading:

    • Interview With the Vampire (I get why it’s so popular, but good Lord the book is wild).
    • The annotated version of The Phantom Tollbooth. I love this book. It’s my favorite book, actually. I think it’s the best children’s lit I’ve ever read.
    • Hum by…some woman whose name I can’t remember. I’m writing this at the office and my copy is at home. It was part of Book of the Month, which I canceled a long time ago. It’s a speedy read.

    I’m having a tough time thinking of things to share, so I’ll be going now.

  • my hope lives in picture books

    KM Brunner

    Yesterday, I stopped in a bookshop/cafe I often visit and ate my regular croissant. Afterward, I decided to take a look at the children’s books because I have some young cousins who are growing up in a rural area and I worry for them. I found some amazing pieces, a few of which made me cry in public. Embarrassing.

    I’ve been going through a tough time and for some reason, these books struck me pretty profoundly. It was confusing until I thought it through. But regardless, I’m here to tell you about a few of them:

    The Last Stardog by E.K. Mosley

    This piece is about finding family, feeling alone, and hope. Though the story is amazing, the art is just as impactful. It’s about a creature called a stardog, who lives in the stars. He falls out of the sky and meets some friends. I am not going to spoil it for you; you have to read the thing. It’s beautiful.

    Molly’s Tuxedo by Vicki Johnson

    I was a kid who felt very alone. I felt uncomfortable in my clothes and didn’t always see my own face when I looked in the mirror. Seeing that experience in a picture book took me by surprise and I couldn’t read the whole thing in the shop. I just bought it and then sobbed after reading it at home.

    It really healed something in me that I didn’t know was broken. Molly is given a choice what she wants to wear on picture day: a dress or her brother’s tuxedo.

    This one was a recommendation from one of the employees who I’m CERTAIN was out for blood. Molly’s got red hair just like me.

    The Boy with the Big, Big Feelings by Britney Winn Lee

    One of my younger cousins is a little boy who has a lot of anxiety. He’s shy and afraid sometimes. I used to be, too. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be his mom; the kid’s different from the others and children can be so cruel. This book shows that boys can have big feelings, and that’s okay. I want my little cousin to grow up knowing that emotions are not a weakness and this book addresses that directly.

    Then of course they sent me home with My Shadow is Pink because I need it for my library. A lot of queer folks have books like that on hand, just in case they meet a kid who needs to know that they’re not wrong for feeling like they do.

    I spent a lot of money but I don’t mind at all. The books were all so beautiful and I felt privileged to be able to read them, honestly. Though a lot of things are happening in the world that are horrific and discouraging, books like these tell me that in some ways, we are still progressing.